Hey everyone,
Been watching my little guy, Leo, lately and it’s amazing how his brain is just constantly figuring stuff out. The other day, his favorite stuffed animal rolled under the couch, just out of reach. Instead of immediately crying, he tried reaching for it, then crawling around to the other side, then even pushing a toy truck towards it to try and knock it closer. He didn’t quite get it, but it was clear he was thinking about how to solve the problem.
It really made me think about how much they’re learning even before they can talk. It’s not just about hitting those big milestones, but these little moments where they’re actively trying to understand cause and effect, or how to achieve a goal. It’s like their own mini-experiments in action.
I’m curious what early problem-solving moments you’ve noticed with your babies. What did they try to figure out, and what did you do (or not do) to let them work it out?
Oh wow, that’s such a great observation about Leo! It really resonates with what I’ve been seeing too. My little one, Maya, is a bit younger, but I’ve noticed her trying to figure out how to get to toys that are just out of reach by pulling on the blanket they’re sitting on. It’s not always successful, and sometimes it ends with the toy just moving further away, haha, but the intent is definitely there.
It makes me wonder how much of it is truly ‘problem-solving’ versus just exploring cause and effect at that age. Like, are they consciously thinking ‘I need to get that, so I’ll use this tool,’ or is it more like ‘I did X and Y happened, let me try X again’? I’m probably overthinking it! But it’s fascinating either way.
The part about what we do or don’t do is interesting too. I try to hold back from just handing her the toy immediately, hoping she’ll keep trying. But sometimes I worry if I’m letting her get too frustrated. How do you all decide when to step in, or when to just let them keep at it? And have you noticed if stepping back actually helps them figure it out faster in the long run?
Open-ended toys are key for encouraging this. Simple blocks or nesting cups let them experiment with different solutions on their own terms. Resist the urge to ‘fix’ it immediately; their process is the learning.
I really appreciate that point about open-ended toys and especially resisting the urge to ‘fix’ things. It’s so true that the process is the learning, and I try to remind myself of that constantly. It makes me think back to what ‘Curious Parent’ was saying about knowing when to step in. For me, that’s where I sometimes get a bit unsure. When we’re supposed to resist fixing, does that extend to even verbal prompts or very subtle demonstrations? Like, if my little one is struggling to fit a shape into the wrong hole, is a gentle ‘try turning it this way?’ still too much? I worry about interrupting their concentration or, worse, making them feel like they can’t do it on their own without my input. What’s your take on that fine line?
Noticed mine using a stick to poke a toy out from behind the playpen. My rule is usually to wait until they ask for help or show clear signs of real frustration before stepping in.
Oh, that’s such a great point about verbal prompts, I’ve been wrestling with that too! It’s so hard to know where that line is. Like, if my little one is trying to jam a square peg into a triangle hole, is a gentle ‘maybe this one needs to turn a little?’ helping them or just pulling them out of their own problem-solving process?
My instinct is to hold back as much as possible, especially if they seem really engrossed. But then I worry if I’m letting them get too frustrated, or if a tiny hint would unlock a new way of thinking for them. I sometimes try a very open-ended observation, like ‘That looks a bit tricky, doesn’t it?’ rather than a direct instruction, hoping it just acknowledges their effort without giving away the answer.
But like you said, does even that subtle prompt make them look for our input instead of trusting their own process? That’s my biggest concern. Have you noticed if they’re more likely to give up and look to you for the answer when you offer a subtle suggestion, versus when you just let them keep at it completely on their own?
That’s a solid rule, waiting for them to ask or show real frustration. It’s a great baseline for sure. And to the question about subtle prompts – it’s such a common worry, isn’t it? We get so caught up in not ‘doing it for them’ that we sometimes forget the bigger picture.
Here’s how I tend to look at it: a well-placed, open-ended prompt isn’t about solving it for them; it’s about helping them connect the dots or consider a new angle when they’re truly stuck and their current approach isn’t yielding results. Think of it less as ‘giving the answer’ and more as ‘offering a new lens.’
For that square peg/triangle hole scenario, instead of ‘try turning it this way,’ you could try something like, ‘Hmm, that shape looks like it has corners, and this hole looks… different. I wonder if there’s a hole that matches those corners?’ It’s still a nudge, but it keeps the thinking process squarely on them. You’re modeling how to observe and compare.
And honestly, the worry about them ‘looking to us’ for every answer? It’s natural, but often overstated. What you’re actually doing is building a foundation of trust and showing them that it’s okay to struggle, and that sometimes a fresh perspective helps. They’re not looking for your answer as much as they’re learning that solutions sometimes come from collaboration, or from rethinking. It’s about persistence and flexible thinking, not perfect, solitary problem-solving every single time. Sometimes a small hint helps them keep going rather than giving up entirely. That persistence is gold.